#LostGirl: Season 05, Episode 08, End of Faes
If my last few reviews have sounded like I’m suggesting a bunch of theories and am wholly unsure what’s going to stick; well, yeah. Especially since the end of Season 3, there’s no true predicting where the show could be going, because it could be anywhere. Commenting on one episode’s symbolism and metaphors and what characters have actually done is one thing, but trying to figure out where the sum of the parts is going – especially when sometimes it takes a season and a half to explain something like that glowing handprint, and even then it feels as if they weren’t quite positive where it was going when it was introduced – well, it’s a bit of a fool’s errand. With that said, I’m going a little different direction with this, the last review before the break.
Open mid-girlfiiiiiiiiight, on the stairwell which supposedly goes to Bo’s room but obviously goes nowhere. (Or to where crafty is staged, maybe.) The Artemis candle flickers ominously and unnoticed by Bo, who keeps blowing the damned thing out and not noticing it lights itself. Tamsin tells Bo that Bo can’t love anyone but Lauren, because the fact a person/Bo can love more than one person at a time while simply not being in love with a particular person/Valkyrie, has obviously not occurred to anyone involved.
Tamsin storms off after announcing “I’m angry and heartbroken and going to Motel 6 because they leave the light on for me. Oh by the way here’s some mysterious letter with an archaic waxen seal bearing the mysterious symbol we’ve been looking for mkaybyenow!”
Meanwhile, back at the Dal, everyone else received a waxen-sealed invitation except Vex. Vex doesn’t have much time to mope because he’s busy being all protective of his wanna-be Boy Toy. I believe the ship name is ‘Pupex.’
Arriving at the party, Lauren “Buzzkill” Lewis, aka Lauren “You Should Probably Actually Listen to Me” Lewis, continually tells everyone in the elevator that the party is probably a trap. Really, the elevator itself could be a trap, but then that would be the plot of a different thing with Zoie Palmer in it.
They arrive at the trap and surprise! It is a trap. But the trap takes its time, the better to spend the first little while on various chats.
Bo tells Lauren ‘there will always be a reason for us not to be together,’ neglecting to mention that most of the reasons lately have been mysterious and artificially constructed by gods, aka the writers. Dyson and Hera posture like roosters and preen like peacocks and exchange some clunky dialogue loaded with multiple reminders Dyson is a wolf shifter. Boy Toy panics at things like ‘parents telling us what to do’ and nerdy explanations, which in after-school specials usually means something bad will happen to him. Various characters talk about the euphemistic clam dip. Lauren whips out a syringe to solve a problem; take a shot!
I admittedly am not the most fashion-knowledgeable reviewer. But I do have Opinions, and I don’t like many of these dresses. I revise. I liked parts of most of them, but there was so much . . . bling, and arm-wrapping, and flesh-toned material in all the places. Just show more skin. Better yet, just dress e’rrybody in suits.
Finally, things start to happen. Zee reveals “Thē is a She”, makes the Odin connection (a god by any other name), calls out the patriarchy, and offers Bo and Trick some punch spiked with eyes and who knows what else. Having learned nothing from four and a half seasons including Lauren testing Bo’s drink for Fae roofies just a few scenes ago, Bo and Trick not only drink the punch, but immediately buy into the resulting vision and what Zee says the vision means.
In what has to be one of the poorest word choices, Bo then announces it’s time to “divorce daddy.” Maybe this writer believes alliteration is practically a theological necessity, but just . . . no. Coupled with the closing idea that ‘when Bo opens her box, father dearest comes out,’ there’s enough Freudian analysis and Oedipal / incestuous weirdness to keep a psychology major occupied for weeks.
Decision rashly made, Zee tells Bo to choose an instrument from the Big Table o’ Weapons, and Zee will use that instrument to carve the glowing handprint out of Bo’s chest area. Why it needs to be Zee, why the rust on the obviously unsterile knife doesn’t bother anyone (counting on sexual healing to cure gangrene, maybe?), and why nobody utters the line “There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in the world, it would be a pity to ruin yours,” is all anybody’s guess.
Meanwhile, Tamsin and Lauren tie up Hera as collateral, then sit around and process stuff. Rather than either torture Hera (which I was voting for, because I thought that moral gray area would be nice) or put those restraints to better use, they have a little heart-to-heart about Tamsin acknowledging Lauren and Bo are a thing and she’s . . . not.
Whether it’s Tamsin’s minor Fatal Attraction moment, or just that most old gods are terrible liars, Hera’s inability to keep a straight face about the restraints reveals to Lauren and Tamsin that Iris is a Big Bad. And only NOW does the highly suspect rusty-knifed ceremony grinds to a halt, as everyone goes looking for Mark and Iris.
After having sex, Iris goes and killed her vessel’s dad, who realized she’s not his daughter. Alycia didn’t notice her husband was different for days, this guy notices in seconds. Convenient. Or, maybe he just isn’t a moron. Or, maybe he watches a lot of horror movies. Whatever, he’s dead. Mom appears to stab Mark and sob over the body, but not speak any lines, because extras who speak lines get paid more.
A bleeding Mark runs off, and his first call is to Vex (one two three: aaaaaaaw), but he is in a bad way. Gut-stabbed is bad, but Rules of Genre TV dictate shifting would somehow – despite being completely implausible as a solution – help solve the problem, especially as Vex made a point earlier that Mark hadn’t shifted yet. So next episode, Mark shifts into a . . . something with blood-clotting properties, maybe.
Meanwhile, Iris is on the run. A Canadian cop tries to be helpful and friendly – which I, being American, assume is basically their job description – and gets killed for his trouble. Let that be a lesson!
Tamsin and Zee have a bit of a chat, wherein Tamsin acknowledges she knows exactly how Zee killed Cassie, but that she can fly, so ha. Tamsin’s cockiness has never been her strongest suit, and here she literally gets zapped for it. My money is on her still being alive, because her death couldn’t be that anticlimactic . . . Right?
Speaking of anticlimactic; we get an “Oh boy, yes,” from Lauren, but do not get even so much as a kiss between Lauren and Bo. Instead of taking all of five seconds for a by-now-traditional Finale Kiss, Bo leaves to go draw more parallels between herself and a recurring character. Inevitably, she touches Iris and gets her hand all gross. “Kids, in this episode, Bo learns that the ethics of consent extend to unwanted touching.”
Bo deciphers Hades has sent her the jack-in-the-box to help fight Iris. “Unless the box is a metaphor,” Trick ponders. Sexual innuendo plus a meta joke about how often things on this show (all genre shows) are metaphors, etc.? Yes, please.
After a gratuitous cat fight and declarations about Zee wanting her box, Bo has a cryptic vision of her father saying things (“Our power will decide the fate of this world.” “Sometimes the greatest evil is the greatest mercy.”) loaded with veiled meaning. Bo then opens the box, which apparently contains a high-powered tanning bed.
My hope is that the box/light/Hades destroys the Ancients, and the next eight episodes are about Bo having sexcapades. There’s even an empty penthouse set available!
Last episode it took Eros to get over the writers’ artificially stalling Lauren and Bo after the 4.13 declaration. It’s felt as though said writers have been trying to have Doccubus cake and eating it too. And now Lauren gives Bo the whole “Oh boy, yes” go-ahead signal . . . except they already gave it, and then spent the last eight episodes spinning their wheels, so why should we believe them? Instead of crying ‘wolf,’ they’re crying ‘I choose you!’ It’s like they think the important tension is “Bo trying to decide what/who she wants,” while ignoring the part where Bo acting as well as talking about everything [granted, something better facilitated with the presence of Kenzi, a best friend / neutral third party] with her various partners is relevant and can be incredibly interesting. I had a whole conversation with someone who said they think the writers did all this wheel-spinning because they wanted to follow the Tamsin plotline. Maybe that’s true. But, they still could have done both. They didn’t have to be mutually exclusive.
Last week’s episode had too much going on, and this episode not quite enough. It needed a B plot. Its A plot didn’t really go in a straight line, either, but was mostly quite arbitrary.
“There are those far more wicked than I upon this Earth” suggests Hades is the lesser of two or three evils, the greater being the Ancients or maybe just the Chaos. For a show making such a Big Deal the first two seasons about Light and Dark all being bad, it fits, and would be a welcome conundrum.
“Victory over night” seems to suggest the darkness, specifically that’s coming out of Iris. Maybe she is Eris, after all? Or is the chaos a different entity which is residing inside her? And how did it get there? Was this chaos part of her deal all along, or implanted in her? Do the other Ancients also need to help defeat Iris? They were chaining her up and gave her the bracelet because they were afraid of her . . . not positive why a millennium-old god would suddenly not realize she was super-powerful.Using a childlike body doesn’t necessarily mean the god is a child. Iris should have known better, right? Unless the chaos-indwelling is a new thing. Maybe the Chaos came with the bracelet, which came with shrouding Iris’ knowledge of power from herself.
Bo’s blood is ‘the light,’ which interests me in a couple ways. First, having grown up specifically and quite religious, the emphasis on blood as means of redemption and salvations jump out. I could talk your ear off about why that’s relevant, why Christian religions which claim to be peaceful so relish the details of Passover and fixate on the crucifixion torture, etc., but that’s another story. If blood is the key, and there’s so much concentration on 1. people who have Bo’s blood in their veins 2. the Darkness coming, and needing to be vanquished, than it’s quite possible there needs to be some sacrifice, blood spilled, collective bloodshed, something, to conquer Iris/Chaos/darkness.
The “only family can destroy them” must be important, especially with Lost Girl‘s emphasis on blood family not necessarily being your ‘true family’. Bo making the realization ‘MY family can destroy them, but you [Hades] aren’t my family . . .” to cap the series off would be in keeping with several thmes, and suggests Kenzi’s return, too. And man, is this show missing Kenzi.
My theory on all the different music boxes on the mantle is they contain souls, kind of like it seems the jack-in-the-box contains Hades. Play the tune to completion, souls are released. Also could be a callback to “Midnight Lamp.”
– Even more thanks than usual this week to my viewing partners C, D, and E.
– Bo’s “first time for everything” reply to Zee’s complaint “ You can’t leave, I’m not finished,” acknowledges Bo doesn’t leave her lovers without giving them a turn. Thatagirl.
– Thanks for hanging with this somewhat unusual review. As always, the comments section will remain open. I’ll be picking back up when Lost Girl returns from break, but looking for some other shows to review in the meantime, including an overview of Elementary‘s gender swapping and modernizing of certain plotlines, and some more things on Orphan Black.