Lost Girl: Season 5, Episode 9, 44 Minutes to Save the World
I always feel a bit shallow when my complaint about a show is “needs more sex scenes.” But I also feel that of all shows, Lost Girl – about someone who literally needs it to live, and is hot, and is surrounded by many many other hot characters and extras of multiple presentations and orientations – gives me a good excuse.
Thus, I freely hope the rest of the season has more sex scenes. Not metaphorical sex scenes . . . I mean, okay. I’m a sucker for metaphorical sex scenes. I want not just metaphorical sex scenes, but also actual, Canadian-network-standard sex scenes.
Besides a distinct lack of non-metaphorical sex scenes, the episode is plenty uneven. Look no further than the very end scene for an example: a nicely lit street where you can actually see action taking place, specifically CGI action reminiscent of this 90s gem; an emphatic declaration of love, a culmination of many years of longing looks and off-and-ons and sexual tension you could cut with a knife; followed by the most hackneyed ‘accident’ imaginable, a contrived truck we could have seen coming from a literal mile [sorry: kilometer] away, and Lauren would have too; capping it all we get a true surprise with huge implications for the rest of the season, and a smash cut to black.
Standing in the street for three minutes to spout out a declaration of love is the most contrived, obvious setup of all time (especially if you’d seen the promos), is wildly out of character for Lauren, and would have given both the truck and our couple plenty of time for avoidance.
Thankfully, at least they’re not putting Lauren in a coma and having us spend a couple episodes trying to find a cure / turn her Fae / inject her with Bo’s essence [which would surely be creepy as all get out, though the show has shown a willingness to Go There]. They didn’t even try to drag it out until the next episode. They just had Lauren suck the chi out of Bo, thus neatly flipping the expected chisuck they showed in the promos.
Look, I actually think removing Lauren’s humanity is fucking with one of the most interesting things about her character and her place in this Fae world. If they’re going to insist on a similar lifespan between Bo and Lauren, I think a Wings of Desire solution is far preferable, and also helps reconcile Bo’s incredible relationship with Kenzi. But if they’re going to go the route of Lauren turning herself Fae . . . May as well do it full throttle with something like this. I like the bold execution, I just roll my eyes at getting there via surprise-but-not-really-semi-truck-attack.
FaeLauren opens a Pandora’s box of possibilities.
Maybe Lauren didn’t actually know she could do this. Presumably it’s a very recent development, given the conversation she had with Hades. Perhaps she didn’t realize her experiments had succeeded, at least to some extent, and the chisuck is an instinct which exposes a power she had gained through her experiments but was heretofore unawares of. Or maybe somehow Hades meddled and supernaturally completed a process.
On the flip side, it’s remotely possible Lauren meant to get into a lifethreatening situation, so she could show off/try out the new power, so she intentionally waited for the truck to hit her. That doesn’t fit with Lauren’s personality – she would much more be unable to contain her excitement and insist that Bo come over to the lab and see something cool and then we’d get nerding out followed by sexytimes – but then again, what if her personality has also shifted with the introduction of this power? Do powers affect personality or vice versa? We haven’t seen many ‘duplicates’ of Fae, so maybe we’ll be able to see how power and personality play on each other. Could Lauren, suddenly embued with powers as well as a huge trove of knowledge and a long-standing grudge against the Fae who enslaved her so long, go to the Dark side and need redeeming?
I also wonder if Lauren isn’t a succubus at all, but far more powerful; maybe her experiments have enabled her to mimic/amplify/use the power of the Fae nearest her. This would make her easily the most powerful Fae in our town.
However the specifics turn out, Lauren’s particular new-found powers could change the dynamics not only of her and Bo’s relationship, but everyone else’s relationships with her, and even with others in the group.
It’s at this point of starting to type out the infinite possibilities I begin to wish that if they were decided on this route with Lauren, they would’ve jettisoned some of the absurd and pointless subplots starting in Season 4, and really started to explore some of the above, instead.
But I digress. As for the rest of the gang.
Still no sign of Kenzi, though Bo mentions her a few times.
Mark continues to be a plot device with a face tailor-made for the CW crowd, and fittingly Mark and Iris’s relationship is the CW update on the ancient gods. Meet, fall in immediate passion, defy orders, leave the bacchanal to have sex, murder and mayhem ensue.
The thing with using classical gods as characters is they are canonically petty, jealous, incestuous, murderous, terrible parents, sexually driven, and terrible decision makers. Thus you don’t really have to justify any of their actions, it’s just ‘totally something that asshole/idiot/horndog Zeus would do.’ Hera and Zeus’s arguement brings up their past with Athena, as well, and while I don’t think we’ll see many other Greco-Roman gods appear, it’s fun to get some namedropping in, and also exchanges like:
“She’s our daughter.” “She’s the harbinger of darkness!”
“She killed her father?” “Yeah, after we had sex.”
When Tamsin’s actual face-gauntifying powers failed to sway Hera, we get to watch her work her doubt wiles verbally. I liked this much better, as we get a chance to see how her time reaping souls and living among people so long has taught her about reading and manipulating people, which ties into her power. She’s projecting a lot at this point, and several times you hear her own pain and doubt coming through, but she’s never not working an angle. She has some great one-liners, the best being “At least I won’t die alone.” I think she’s accepted her end, but she’s also acknowledging she’s found a true family for the first time in many centuries.
On the other hand, when Hades tries to leverage the “we do things for our family” line, Bo cuts him off. “Don’t”, Bo snaps at her father. Having a family is one thing. Trying to use your blood relation for emotional manipulation is something Bo is done with. Bo also won’t let Hades use the fact Aife was driven crazy by Dark torture excuse his abusive treatment of her.
It feels Dyson is being spoonfed another love interest because they couldn’t find another way to get him out of the romantic equation. Still, having Alycia’s husband be potentially alive, at least a part of him existing in an animated body, is very interesting. I feel the Noble Dyson We Met in Flashbacks would go the route of helping her get her husband back, no sex involved, but then they’d be throwing away a lot of setup and putting him back into the Available Romantic Pool, which I’m not sure they’ll do so late in the game.
I’m worried that they can’t let that storyline play out organically because they can’t let anyone be not-paired-off, (except perhaps Tamsin, who I expect ends up sacrificing herself and having unrequited love(s)).
Maybe that’s cynical, but it feels they are loathe to let anyone end up ‘alone’ when the story ends. I get that on one level: fanservice, neat storytelling, etc. But again, Lost Girl is uniquely set up to avoid this Ross and Rachel trope. They could have a happy triad, have a happy single person, along with happy couples. They could have someone who doesn’t either see the love of their life killed in front of them, or end up having a broken heart and then going out in a blaze of light. I would have hoped they could break some ground into accepting non-traditional pairings. Of course, you can argue that two women ending up happily together [hell, just ending up with both of them alive] is still a non-traditional coupling in today’s TV scene, and that looks like where we’re headed with just seven episodes left. But given that this whole show is based around a central character who is built for and has been practicing non-monogamy, along with other characters whose lifespans and mindsets open them up to the same thing, it feels like a letdown to not explore that in at least some fashion.
Then again, maybe Dyson, Alycia, and Kevin end up settling down and raising some pups, with Mark as the nanny. Wouldn’t that be a twist.
The rest of the episode is about half resolution from last episode plus the last two-and-a-half seasons of Are You My Daddy, and half setup for the end of the season/show which will presumably deal with MutantSuccuLauren, Bo’s guilt over using the box against Iris, more daddy issues, Zeus as Big Bad Standing, and I think we’re safe to assume Hades’ manipulative endgame. And – fingers crossed – Kenzi’s return.
The important question is, how much of the back half of this episode is Trick’s blood-writing? We know he can lie and be nefarious with the best of them, but his blood also has a mind of its own. Come to think of it, could his blood have had something to do with Lauren’s succubusness?
I guess we’re about to find out.
– I dig the title’s cheeky little nod to standard episode runtimes, although they don’t go full-concept 24 with it, instead taking the traditional but more flexible “we have until midnight” route.
– “You don’t know what you’re doing!” could be Bo’s tagline.
– ‘The Nix’ is not the most original naming convention, but sometimes less obscure is better.
– The dismissive line “she’s just a girl!” is immediately punished by Iris dusting the cretinous old dude. We don’t want Iris to end the world, but we can get behind her ending some misogyny.
– Alycia, multiple kinds of mustard are very important to a well-stocked fridge!
– Zeus tells Tamsin to get the succubus and the wolf, but she goes to the doc instead.